The dating landscape is changing, with a noticeable increase in “situationships”—relationships marked by intimacy and passion but lacking formal commitment. This trend is especially prevalent among younger people.
Andrea Meltzer, social psychology area director and professor at Florida State University’s Department of Psychology, studies how evolutionary processes shape romantic relationships. She notes that the perception of having many options contributes to the rise of situationships.
“We know from relationship science that, regardless of how happy people are in their relationships, the relative comparison of what people are getting out of their relationships versus what people think they could get outside of that partnership predict the extent to which they are committed,” Meltzer said.
Meltzer leads The Attractions and Close Relationships Lab at FSU, using both experimental and longitudinal methods to study established romantic relationships. She highlights the role technology plays in these shifting dynamics.
“In our fast-paced, technology-drenched modern world, the available options seem endless,” Meltzer added. “When young people spend hours on their phones scrolling social media and dating apps, they are exposed to an endless stream of attractive others. Even if those attractive others are not realistically obtainable (because they live far away or because they are strangers), we likely unconsciously process those others as ‘potential options,’ driving lower commitment in our face-to-face relationships.”
Meltzer explained that situationships can provide benefits similar to more committed relationships—including companionship, intimacy, and emotional support—but research shows they tend to be less satisfying overall. Their ambiguity may lead to increased anxiety, lower self-esteem, and poorer well-being if a partner suddenly ends contact.
She also discussed how dating apps contribute to this phenomenon: “I do think dating apps play a notable role. People who scroll these apps think their available options are endless. Even if they have considered all potential partners in a given area, they can expand their search to a wider area, offering more options. To me, social media plays an even bigger role. Compared to 10 minutes on a dating app, people are exposed to significantly more attractive people when endlessly scrolling on TikTok for 10 minutes.”
Meltzer is available for interviews about the topic as Valentine’s Day approaches.
